Poetry: “Big Boys Fear Shotguns Too” by Jonathan Carroll
“What does a dead boy talk about? / Who does he love?”
In a long and storied tradition of queer longing, Jonathan Carroll spins a tale of Southern yearning with a heartbeat of danger that thumps throughout the poem, effortlessly juxtaposing powerful emblems of sensuality and fear.
Big Boys Fear Shotguns Too
.
What does a dead body talk about? I.
What does it love?
He doesn’t love me
We’re just gay together
We go on walks
and sometimes hide
in bushes
Our hands barely
touch—
His lips wouldn’t dare—
They hang boys here
because they can’t stand to
see it.
What does a dead boy talk about?
Who does he love?
II.
His prayer:
ashes to ashes, dust to fertilized soil, and all green things—
he thinks we will die if
our lips touch, he says:
In the south, bodies bloomed.
felled, ripened like peaches or
plums— everything a
blush, a bruise
or a lesson.
III.
Itchy inching trigger fingers
with owl-open
mouths stick thick with tough tasting tobacco
and trailer truck
chatter—choke in our presence our tongues tailgate
under a halo of dimming dome lights heaven at last
Jonathan Carroll
Jonathan Carroll is a Southern-born Black nonbinary poet living and working in Seattle, WA.
