Poetry: “I Want to Be a Pontiac Catalina 2+2” by Morgan Tinin

Morgan Tinin’s poem is full of delicious contradictions and quiet desperation. Tinin begins with the simple, pure shot of desire that we all can relate to—the car itself, the sporty, cool, effortless status symbol that brings social capital and status from the second you drive it off the lot. But the requests go from “car top coupe swagger,” and “that muscle,” move into “stability,” and stability isn’t sexy the way the Catalina was. Tinin is suddenly moving backwards, and even if the speaker says, “Give me a way to avoid rolling backward,” it’s clear that they want to move backward, and the conflicting emotion is what brings this poem its power. There is an oscsillation in the emotion that is found here, a push and pull that we can all understand—fear of the unknown future coupled with a longing to do it all over, do it better, enjoy the past before it’s all gone in a flash. Nostalgia is eating away at this poem, and like Tinin’s speaker, we can’t go back—we have to keep reading, keep living, keep writing, keep wishing. Like it or not, we aren’t a muscle car, we aren’t converting and we aren’t automatic. We’re human and we grow, we change, we aren’t collectibles coveted by car nerds. Tinin captures this feeling perfectly: we need to accept the past, the present, and the future, no matter how much we wish it was all different.
I want Deluxe Trim and low mileage,
a Silver Streak hood,
that car top coupe swagger. I want
a 421 engine to keep me going.
I want to be a sleeper –
all go no show – I want
that muscle, those
Factory 8 lug nuts to surround my wheels.
I want stability; Flowmaster dual exhaust
pushing toxins into my rearview, power braking –
I need that power –
And automatic transmission for
ease in heavy traffic.
Give me a way to avoid rolling backward.
Give me a convertible top,
Ray Charles and rolled down
windows, and you beside me
in the hand-stitched leather seat,
laughing like newlyweds
laughing like we’re still young.
Morgan Tinin
Morgan Tinin currently studies creative writing at Missouri State University, but calls Kentucky home. Their poetry can be found in the 33rd issue of Applause Literary Journal and the 2023 issue of The Switch.